The Distance Difference. Not so much.

Singapore is about as far away from Texas as you can get; I also think all of our pictures and "Asian Adventures" can attest to how different it is...But the thing that I've been really struck by this week is how in spite of all of the distance and the differences, our lives are really still the same. I still struggle with the same insecurities (plus or minus some new ones) and it just really drives home for me the fact that you can't escape your life. I'm not saying we moved to get away from anyone or anything, but part of me totally thought, "Oh, perfect! I clearly won't have to think about ______or deal with ________ nearly as much." Boy, was that wrong. If anything, being located on the opposite side of the world just intensifies everything. It's like being stuck in an echo room. Back home, all of the constant friends and activities could really drown out those thoughts or feelings, but when you're basically solo you can hear yourself loud and clear-clear-clear. (That was the echo; I'm so witty.)

Basically, the last few weeks have been a time for reflection for me and as painful as it has been in some ways I really do feel like the Lord is speaking to me and teaching me through it. Dealing with rejection from a loved one, or hurting for friends that I can't physically be there for, worrying about family... these are the things that keep me up at night. Literally- I've had a recent 'bout with Insomnia and I'm none too pleased with it. Obviously, my life has changed a lot in the last six months. I've gone from working a full time job with people that I loved, being a part of a small group at a church I loved, and LIVING IN TEXAS with friends and family that I loved... to an expat in Asia living the life of a housewife, sans the kids. So where is my worth? How am I valuable? What should I do with my time? These are the questions that I'm looking to God for answers to. My quiet time has become almost a daily habit; I'm glad for that. Even when I feel like the scriptures for my reading have nothing to do with me right now; I find myself thinking on them later and that feels good. Cody has been an enormous help. He hasn't once made me feel worthless for not working and has probably put up with some attitude as I've struggled to find my groove. I'm thankful for a patient husband these days.

I'm also thankful for the expat friends that we do have, John & Halie and Kate & Danny. We aren't even on the same continent, but being able to share the struggles and joys with them has been a blessing. I have also been so surprised and humbled by the outpouring of love from our friends and family back home. The effort that it takes to set up and schedule a FaceTime call may not seem like much, but when you're juggling lives and time differences it's huge. I can't explain the joy we feel when we get to see a familiar face and hear about what's happening back home and the fact that we have people in our lives that are reaching out to keep in touch with us just means the world to me.

Every day is a different challenge; but internally not any different than what I was dealing with at home. So, since it's a small world after all, I better push my sleeves up and dig into what I'm on it for. We booked our flights home this summer-- July 25-August 15. Can't wait to see anyone and everyone that we can.

Love,

Christie

Philippians 4:4-8

4Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!5Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. 6Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 

8Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.